Sex when you want to have children part 2: What you need to know


n, how often, every day, how much sex is best when trying to conceive? If you are trying to conceive, you may have already asked yourself how often you should "do it" to get pregnant faster. As this topic sometimes causes uncertainty, today we're taking a deep dive into the topic of how often you should really have sex to increase your chances of getting pregnant and also revealing which myths are best forgotten right away.

It's not the number, but the timing that is decisive for sex when you want to have children

As a rule of thumb, you can remember that it's not a question of "how often", but rather "when". This is because a woman is only Ovulation fertile. As a quick reminder, ovulation usually takes place in the middle of the cycle. However, as hardly any woman has a "picture book cycle" with 28 days and ovulation always on day 14, it is often not so easy to determine the exact time. In this Blogpost we have already shown you various ways to calculate your ovulation.

Psst, if you want to determine the exact time of your ovulation, we recommend you use our smart femSense ovulation tracker to try it out. The smart sensor patch measures your post-ovulatory temperature rise and tells you exactly when you are at your most fertile in the accompanying free app.

However, if you now believe that you are only fertile on the day of ovulation, then unfortunately we have to disappoint you. Strictly speaking, you are most fertile in the 2-3 days before ovulation and this is the best time to have sex if you want to have children. The reason for this is easy to explain: sperm can survive for 3-5 days in the uterus and fallopian tubes, so it's good if they are already "on site" at the time of ovulation to fertilise the potential egg. If the egg is then released from the ovary into the fallopian tube, it can be fertilised by a sperm within a day. It can therefore be said that a woman has around 6 fertile days per month: three to five days before and 24 hours after ovulation.

However, as I said, it is not always easy to predict the exact time of ovulation, so statistically you are on the safe side if you have intercourse with your partner approximately every 3 days. From a purely mathematical point of view, you should be able to conceive within the next few months, provided that neither of you has any health restrictions.

Sex when you want to have children: sometimes less is more

Maybe you already track your cycle with a cycle tracking app, see that your fertile days are approaching and want to get started right away? You do you do of course, but the fact that you should have sex several times a day on your fertile days is a misconception. This is due to the so-called dilution effect. If a man has sex several times a day, there are slightly fewer sperm in the individual ejaculate, as it takes about a day for the full amount to be replenished. Did you know? Incidentally, one ejaculate contains around 200 to 400 million sperm.

As we have just described, sperm can survive in the uterus for several days, so you don't have to turn sex into an Olympic discipline if you want to have children on your fertile days and you can still take a stress-free approach.

Which lubricant do you use?

If you regularly use personal lubricant, it makes sense to take a closer look at its ingredients, especially for sex when you want to have children. This is because some personal lubricants can restrict sperm motility. So if you use personal lubricant, you should check in advance that it does not impair the vitality of the sperm.

6 myths about how to get pregnant faster that definitely NOT true

Last but not least, we want to debunk a few myths that you may have picked up in passing and that definitely have nothing to do with how to get pregnant faster and are irrelevant for sex when trying to conceive.

Myth 1: A woman's orgasm promotes fertilisation

It is claimed that the muscle contractions in the pelvic floor during a female orgasm help the sperm to reach the egg. However, there is no scientific evidence for this. What significantly increases the chances of pregnancy, however, is a woman's low stress level, and her climax or letting go and enjoying sex can definitely contribute to this.

Myth 2: Lie down and/or put your legs up after sex

There is also a widespread misconception that a woman should lie down after sex if she wants to have children and get pregnant more easily if, for example, she puts a pillow under her bottom or holds her legs up to "facilitate" the sperm's journey to the egg. This myth has not been scientifically proven, as gravity has no influence on fertilisation and the sperm move on their own anyway.

Myth 3: There are sex positions in which the egg can be fertilised more easily

This is also not true. The same principle of gravity and mobile sperm also applies to the choice of sexual position. For this reason, this also plays no role in whether a woman gets pregnant more quickly or not.

Myth 4: Showering after sex reduces the chance of getting pregnant

No, just no. If you want to take a shower after sex, please do so. This has no effect on a potential pregnancy.

Myth 5: You shouldn't go to the toilet after sexual intercourse

Another myth that we can't and won't let stand: To avoid bladder infections or other urinary tract infections, you should actually go for a pee after sex. This is because an infection can actually reduce fertility and prevent pregnancy.

Myth 6: You can influence the sex of your baby

There is a rather wild theory that the timing of sexual intercourse can contribute to the biological sex of the baby. This theory states that sperm with an X chromosome (i.e. the female chromosome) have a longer survival time than sperm with a Y chromosome and so the chance of having a girl is said to be increased if you have intercourse 3-5 days before ovulation, as only the "female" sperm would survive until ovulation. Well, who would have thought it, this theory is not scientifically validated either.

Click here for the blog Sex when you want to have children part 1

We hope you enjoyed our blog post. Have we forgotten a few fertility myths or do you have any tips that have helped you get pregnant faster? Then please let us know on Instagram know.


Preuk (01.12.2023),Ovulation lie

The right timing during sex helps you get pregnant (01.12.2023)

Wanting to have children: How often do you need to have sex? (01.12.2023)

The most common myths about getting pregnant (01.12.2023)

Zech (01.12.2023), 5 myths about sexual intercourse and pregnancy

Tina is the Marketing Manager at femSense and firmly believes that great things happen when women support and empower each other, because in this "men's-world" there clearly needs to be more sisterhood. She lives in harmony with her superpower aka her cycle and writes about all the topics that matter.

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