2020 02 06 sex for children title

How often and when should I have sex if I want to have children?

The "most beautiful minor matter in the world" can quickly turn into "work" if you want to have children. The most important tip for having sex when you want to have children is to get the timing right.

Having a baby is the pinnacle of togetherness for many couples and an expression of their love. However, it is not always quite so romantic, as reality shows. Only around two thirds of all couples who want to have children manage to conceive within a few months. In principle, this is completely normal and no cause for concern. But of course you can become impatient when the desire to have children is pressing.

Perhaps you have already the one or other tip to help you get pregnant faster. For example, that you should have sex at least every other day. But actually, it's always said that "a lot" helps a lot, isn't it? So why not have sex every day to increase your chances?

"Well-intentioned" sex is not always "faster pregnancy" when you want to have children

First of all: Of course you and your partner can sleep together as often as you like. After all, love knows no boundaries! But having a lot of sex can even reduce fertility. Important for sex if you want to have children: The man's sperm need a certain amount of time to be reproduced after ejaculation.

The more often you have sex, the lower the total number of sperm that can fertilise an egg. Conversely, you shouldn't postpone sex for too long either, because the longer it's been since your last ejaculation, the higher the risk of malformed sperm. Sex about every two days is therefore ideal and absolutely sufficient to get pregnant quickly. And, of course, it is also much more relaxed if you don't have the feeling that you "have to" all the time.

Theoretically, if you want to have children, one time would be enough, for a pregnancy to occur. For this to happen, however, at least two factors must coincide. And before you ask: Yes, these can be influenced - and determined - to a certain extent.

Sex when you want to have children: How you can really get pregnant faster

These factors are the Durability of the sperm and the time window in which the egg cell can actually be fertilised. If these two time frames overlap, the chances of pregnancy are very favourable!

However: This time window in your cycle only lasts about three days. Shortly before or during ovulation, the environment inside the uterus is very sperm-friendly, so that the sperm can easily survive for 48 hours and wait for the egg to "arrive". The egg itself can be fertilised for around 24 hours after ovulation before it dies.

This results in around three days in which you are highly fertile and pregnancy is likely - if there are no other limiting factors (e.g. poor sperm or egg quality, insufficient uterine lining for implantation, etc.).

However, as ovulation does not always take place or need to take place on the same day of the cycle, it is important to narrow down this fertility window as precisely as possible in order to get pregnant more quickly. This way, sex can not only be enjoyable for you and your partner, but also very effective.

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Know your cycle - and your fertility!

So if you want to get pregnant, it makes perfect sense to get to know your cycle, for example by tracking it with femSense. This allows you to determine your fertile period and therefore the ideal time for sex if you want to have children. The more you know about what is happening in your body, the better you can "practise" instead of just trying "at random".



The femSense patches, which measure your basal body temperature, also tell you if and when you are ovulating. However, as this time is different in every cycle and does not always have to be on the same day, cycle tracking is all the more important to ensure that you don't miss ovulation.

So let's summarise: The best days to get pregnant are two days before ovulation and the actual day of ovulation. By acquiring solid knowledge about your cycle and tracking it (e.g. with femSense), you can make perfect use of this time window and significantly increase your chances of getting pregnant. Even more so if you and your partner sleep together regularly (about every two days) and there is always enough healthy sperm available.

Of course, a small portion of luck and patience are also part of getting pregnant. But then nothing stands in the way of enjoying your togetherness and the anticipation!


Rudolf-Müller (2023), Ovaries

Tegtmeyer (2023),How many eggs does a woman have?

Sator (2023), Ovulation

Wendler (2023), The ovulation test

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